By Emily Effrece
I typically use a number of difference sources to get my news. One of my favorites happens to be the Huffington Post. I follow the Huffington Post on Facebook and they’re typically known for covering a wide range of news issues, from politics and foreign affairs to sensational news about celebrities and gossip. I’ve found most of their articles to be intellectually stimulating, often scouring for perceptions that challenge the norm.
However, when I curiously clicked on one of their more recent article posts, I was oddly filled with anger and disappointment. The article was titled “Man Divorces Wife Over Her ‘Excessive And Insatiable Desire’ for Sex.” After seeing a number of posts recently speaking about the role of sex in marriage I thought the article could open up an interesting discussion for the role of sexuality in the life of a woman. But what I found was what could be described as the common “Slut Shaming” of the internet.
As the article points out, we typically see individuals divorcing over the lack of intimacy or sex in a relationship, something known to keep a relationship quite healthy. Men are typically the ones becoming upset when their partner seems to be too tired or simply uninterested in engaging in sexual activities after a long day. This is often viewed to be the woman’s fault, coming up with common excuses such as a headache or fatigue. So, having the tables turned seemed to be out-of-the-ordinary, no doubt making headlines.
My disappointment came when the author began to pity the man, depicting the woman in this circumstance as the “problem” again. The author of the article describes the man with sympathy, portraying him as “sex-fatigued.” Although there is a comical tone in the article, attempting to seemingly “poke fun” at the situation, I couldn’t help but feel a little upset at the different standards society has put in place for men and women.
We live in a society obsessed with sexuality. However, people still seem to expect certain genders to fall into specific roles. Men are prideful in their sexuality and constantly receiving “pats on the back” whenever they “bone” another one. Yet, when a woman shows confidence and enjoyment in her sexuality, society shames them with words like “aggressive, stubborn and autocratic.” Men are pleading for sex while women are “harassing.”
Some of this comes from the man’s court hearing, but if you look around you can see this kind of behavior all over our society. Just a few days ago when Jennifer Lawrence had private pictures of her displayed all over the internet individuals were not looking to indict the man who hacked into her personal computer to steal the pictures, but began to point their fingers at Jennifer Lawrence, claiming that if she did not want her pictures seen she shouldn’t have taken them at all.
To that I say, No. Something is wrong in our society when we are not looking to protect the rights and privacy of a victim of a sexual harassment crime. When our society’s first response is not to track down the man who committed this crime but blame the victim. What kind of message are we sending our children by claiming this woman’s right to privacy is not as important if she acts in a “promiscuous” manner?
I hope that someday our society is able to drop the stereotypes and I believe that if we make a real effort to stop the slut shaming we will have the opportunity to provide a better, more accepting world.